How to help your grade-schooler manage overexcitement

It’s great when grade-schoolers are enthusiastic, whether it’s over a friend’s birthday party or the school talent show. But if they get too excited, they can make people around them uncomfortable.

Some kids get loud when they’re too excited. Some talk too much, interrupt, or say inappropriate things. Others get emotional or overwhelmed. Kids can be so excited about an upcoming event that they get fixated and talk about it nonstop.

Some kids can have a hard time calming down when they get excited. If that happens a lot, there are things you can do to help your child gain control.

One strategy both you and your child can use is the three R’s: Recognize when your child is getting overexcited. Read what your child’s cues were. Respond in a way that helps your child take control.

Here’s an example of how it works:

Recognize: Your child is playing a video game with friends and is really into it. Too into it. Your child hogs the controller and won’t give anyone else a turn. The friends get annoyed and want to leave, and your child’s excitement turns to anger.

Read possible cues:

• Increased volume: Your child gets really worked up and yells at the game while playing.

• Tense body language: Your child leans toward the screen and doesn’t look up.

• Not seeing what’s going on: Your child doesn’t notice that the friends are acting restless.

Respond: Ask your child to come with you for a minute. Out of the room your child can calm down. Say, “I know you’re really into the game. But your friends are feeling left out and bossed around. Can you let go of the game so they’ll want to stay?”

You can also come up with a plan for next time. Set ground rules for video games. Maybe everyone only gets to spend 10 minutes playing at a time. If you’re able to anticipate when your child will get too excited, you can brainstorm strategies in advance.

Using some form of the three R’s can help your child learn how to take it down a notch so other people aren’t turned off. The goal is to notice the behavior and be able to change it.

It may take some time for both you and your grade-schooler to know what works for you. Learn more about how to respond if your child gets fixated on something. Help your child learn how to recognize social cues.

Does your child struggle with self-control in general? Discover ways to help your grade-schooler improve that important skill.